One liners for a dating site

"But that kind of event doesn't happen every month; it takes a lot of effort to arrange." Determined to improve the chances of fresh encounters in the countryside, Lucy Reeves, 30, from Northamptonshire, founded rural matchmaking website Muddy Matches with her sister Emma in 2007.

"I grew up in the countryside before moving to London and overseas.

But according to Patricia Warren, a farmer's wife from Derbyshire who runs the Country Bureau, a rural introduction agency, the country dating scene can be bleak, whatever age you are.

"Communities are small and people work long hours," she says. "I've gone to so many hunt balls this year, I've become a bit of a joke among my friends.

About an hour later, the Martian man asked the farmer's wife again "How does it feel now?

" The farmer's wife responded "I think it needs to be a little longer." So the Martian man twisted his left ear and presto, his penis became longer.

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Horsey girls aren't that bad really." It shouldn't be difficult to meet a like-minded person in the countryside, given that there is a structured calendar of rural social events, including races and point-to-points.

"Find a dating buddy; someone who is in the same situation as you," she says.

"Single friends will also give you moral support if you're feeling depressed about meeting the third frog in a row." If you've been brought up in a country community, the chances are you will already know a lot of the people living locally.

" The farmer replied, "That damn b*tch yanked on my f*cking ears all night long!

"The landscape depicted corresponds exactly to the surrounding geography," she said.

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