For example, having a couple glasses of wine at dinner is probably no big deal, but a third and a fourth? It’s natural to have a drink or two to stave off the inevitable anxiety that comes with date night, but anything more than that tells you that this is someone who relies on alcohol to a fairly extreme degree.In such cases, he uses alcohol to balance his mood, feel happy, and relax.Picture it: You’re sitting across from your date at dinner, looking forward to all that the rest of the evening has to offer — and then he orders another drink. You cringe slightly as he starts getting a little louder and more playful.A quick word to the wise: Watch out for the inevitable date who’s an alcoholic.You will always feel that he prioritizes alcohol over you, and you’ll be right: The drug of choice trumps everything in the lose-lose game of addiction.Growing up in a home with an alcoholic parent is a unique kind of rough.If you have such a suspicion, don’t wait around a few more months to prove it.It’s certainly your right to mention your concern to him or ask him directly if he thinks he might have a problem, but whatever he says doesn’t mean much when your instinct — the most powerful self-protective mechanism you have — tells you there’s a problem.
Soon enough, that merry-go-round becomes a hamster wheel and even after you’ve grown up and moved out, you still run races you’ll never win.
And ache for a love deep down in the recesses of your being–in that unfillable void–that you’ll do anything to feel OK and thus you reach out for stuff: people, food, money, status, drugs, anything. When I was 18, I moved in with an alcoholic/addict who was verbally abusive and a perpetual cheat.
He convinced me I was special and different and I was so desperate to get out of my house, that I shacked up with him and his mother in a two-bedroom apartment in Canoga Park.
If you cross paths with someone who has an alcohol problem, the question then becomes, what will you do with that information?
As you meet and — let’s be honest — interview various dates en route to finding your long-term partner, you need to know how to spot someone who uses alcohol in an unhealthy way.