But sometimes I am lonely for a partner, a soul mate, a husband. I rarely missed sex: I had tiny boundary issues in all those years of drinking, and by my early 20s I had used up my lifelong allotment. I do love what Wodehouse called the old oompus-boompus when it happens to be in progress, but wouldn't go out of my way.
Additionally, I have spent approximately 1,736 hours of this one precious life waiting for the man to finish, and pretending that felt good. I am skittish about relationships, as most of the marriages I've seen up close have been ruinous for one or both parties.
I would say that CPAP machines are the greatest advance in marital joy since the vibrator.
It transforms an experience similar to sleeping next to a dying silverback gorilla into sleeping next to an aquarium. Also, most men a single woman meets have been separated or divorced for about 20 minutes. This – subscribing -- means you can communicate with people at the site, instead of just studying the profiles, questionnaires, preferences and photographs for free. So the first morning, eight profiles of men varying in age from 54 to 63 arrived by email.
Also, 91 percent of men snore loudly – badly, like very sick bears.
Some people my age -- extreme middle-age -- train for marathons, or paddle down the Amazon, skydive, or adopt. The thing was, I had just done something brave, which was to write a memoir with my son, tour the East Coast together, and appear on stages before hundreds of people at a time.
But one dream coming true doesn't mean you give up on other lifelong dreams.
) A strangely high number of them mention that they hope you've left your baggage at the airport -- because, I guess, they are all well! Eight new guys arrived every day, along with a remnants section of men who lived pretty far away.
Some of my eight guys were handsome, if you could believe their profiles, and in my case the profiles tended to be pretty legitimate.